Why Relationships Go From Love to Hate – Sadhguru
The spouse went to another. Why?
So your family has disintegrated, its usual way of life has been destroyed, carefully collected for years from cute and touching little things ... And all because of another woman, to whom you left husband ... And after he leaves, obsessive thoughts swarm in my head about why he did this and what is wrong with you. So why do husbands go to their mistresses, how to survive and is it worth worrying at all?
Reasons for betrayal
Relationships between spouses have always been a complex topic, so there is no specialist who can give a specific answer or advice as to why your husband left for his mistress.
But human experience, accumulated over the years and even centuries, made it possible to compile a list of the most commonplace factors that can provoke a man to such an act:
- The discontent and resentment that he has accumulated throughout his married life. Moreover, you yourself might not even be aware of the thoughts circling in your spouse's head. To begin with, just remember how many times your quarrels ended with your accusations and reproaches, while the faithful tried to keep silent and end the scandal as soon as possible?
Yes, the habit of keeping the last word is inherent in almost the entire female half of the population of our planet, and there is no need to reproach yourself for the fact that you are no exception. Just for the future, know that a wise wife always knows how to find a compromise, when to remain silent, and when to completely admit that her husband is right;
- You have ceased to monitor your appearance and image in general. This is a typical tactic of a woman who stops seeing her husband as a man. And here you are walking around the apartment in a washed bathrobe, without makeup and with such a cute and comfortable bun on your head, while at work your husband is surrounded by slender, fit, painted and always smiling colleagues;
- Desire to make a career. Every modern woman wants with every fiber of her soul to gain financial independence, recognition of society and success in the working field. Often, in pursuit of such benefits, the husband remains not even in the background, but in the very last. He gets semi-finished products, laundry clothes, rare sex and dreams of a real family with a couple of kids.
At this point, everyone understands why your husband went to a young mistress , who loves to cook deliciously, shows maximum care and attention to his person, passionately wants to have a child, and so on.
Worth sNote that these are the most common and commonplace reasons why you now have to live in splendid isolation. There may be a great many, but remember: such a decision is not made by men overnight.
They bear it not even for a month or two, carefully analyzing and foreseeing everything. But, if such grief has happened in your life, try to behave properly, and do not make it worse.
Several reasons to be optimistic
First, you need to honestly admit to yourself whether you are striving to get your husband back, or somewhere deep down there is a desire to start life anew. And if you have even a gram of doubt, do not turn your existence into a series of dull and similar everyday life, but just look at the situation from a different angle.
And you will see that:
- Time can heal, and better than any psychoanalyst or other specialist. Accept your suffering as an inevitable stage on the road to new life and new relationships;
- The worst thing that could happen to you has already left behind, which means that your man showed his true face, saved you from doubts and worries, dotted the i's and got away, good-bye;
- Life is slowly opening up new horizons, opportunities and desires for you. To realize this, sit down one night and analyze what has happened to you since your spouse left. Perhaps you bought yourself a new dress, re-pasted wallpaper in the kitchen, went to a dance with a friend, or made a friend on the World Wide Web. These are the little things that deserve your smile;
- The house has become your full-fledged fortress, in which there is no place for scattered socks, cigarette smoke or eternal football. Finally, you have become a full-fledged hostess on your territory, where the aroma of new perfumes now reigns, vases with fresh flowers stand and there is always an opportunity to accept an old or new friend;
- The social circle is no longer subject to any restrictions other than your own. Feel free to make new acquaintances, flirt and enjoy the attention of the opposite sex. Well, and your husband , who went to live with his mistress, now let her complain about a cold dinner or an imperfectly ironed shirt collar;
- The value of the loss suffered is in great doubt, because lately your family relationships have definitely been reduced to mutual insults and discontent. Ask yourself an honest question - what have you really lost;
- You have a great motive to realize yourself in an area that was previously under strict taboo due to a total lack of free time, an eternal lack of funds, or a spouse who did not like your potential hobby. Start climbing your career ladder, master pole dancing, or sign up for a French course;
- You received an experience, albeit bitter, but very memorable. You are dearpaid for the knowledge gained, so learn to take care of yourself and pass this on to your children, warning them in advance about possible mistakes;
- You have ceased to feel that you owe the whole world, and your husband in particular. Ahead is the long-awaited freedom and the absence of the need to play by someone else's rules, keeping the notorious and mystical weather in the house .
How to return a husband who left for his mistress
It also happens that your future life is not possible without a spouse, especially if you remain pregnant with him.
In this situation, you should try not to despair, but to take concrete measures, which boil down to the following actions:
- Return yourself to a well-groomed and stunning look, bring the house into a state of perfect order and comfort;
- Start doing things and doing things that no one could expect from you before. You should have that very famous zest that will attract the attention of your husband;
- During casual or special meetings with your spouse, behave kindly, kindly and do not show a bad mood;
- Build friendships with your mother-in-law, during conversations with whom, hint at strong feelings for her son;
- Try to become the best friend for your ex-husband for a while: tell him about your new life, ask how the relationship with your new passion is, give recommendations. Do all this with a smile, show your energy and cheerfulness, which you occasionally dilute with deliberate weakness and the need to feel a strong male shoulder.
A few tips
You can come to terms with the loss of your spouse only when you have finished him to the state of treason. But if a man lived happily with you, and the new woman became just some kind of obsession, then the chances of saving the family increase a hundredfold.
In the case when your house is a full bowl, in which it always smells of something delicious, your shirts are ironed, and you are wearing makeup, you should not worry too much about the packed suitcases. If the husband left for a young or pregnant mistress, then he will most likely return to a reliable, stable and comfortable life.
Want to get your husband back? Just let it go without hysterics, scandals and ocean of tears. The more you cling to it, the more clearly you will demonstrate your insignificance and helplessness. Behave with dignity, and you will definitely make the faithful doubt your choice.