how to master your emotions | emotional intelligence
How to hold back tears? Psychological advice
People cry from the very first day of life - this is a natural reaction of our body to stress. The cause of tears is a feeling of deep grief, resentment, disappointment. Pity and compassion, pride and genuine joy can also bring tears. Psychologists agree that crying is good. However, there are situations in life when crying means losing, showing your weakness, vulnerability. Read this article to learn what to do when you need to restrain yourself at all costs.
In what situations should you restrain yourself?
Women are often called crybaby. Yes, our mobile psyche reacts to any emotional shock. We cry from overwhelming feelings. Tears are essential. They help to cope with stress, extinguish negative emotions. Tears of sympathy are especially useful for us, which heal not only our body, but also our soul.
But there are situations when you can't cry.
Here are some of them:
- In the exam. It seems to you that the teacher is too nitpicky and decided to give you a grade at any cost. But you were tired and taught all night. Tears of resentment are welling up in my eyes. These tears cannot be contained;
In such a situation, one cannot cry categorically. Why? A small child causes pity for himself with tears, attracts attention. Having burst into tears, he gives a signal: I am weak, have pity on me. On the exam, crying is likely to trigger backlash. She's crying, so she doesn't know anything, she didn't teach her, she's trying to pity.
To be on an equal footing with a teacher, you need to show that you are an adult and know how to restrain yourself.
- At the interview. At the interview, you are asked a lot of incorrect, in your opinion, questions, forcing you to show emotions and get nervous. The fact is that the employer has his own idea of what kind of employee he needs. In order to check whether the applicant is resistant to stress and unforeseen situations, a so-called stress interview is conducted. Shedding tears is the most unfortunate way out in this situation. This means showing your weakness and unsuitability for the job you are applying for. If you need this job, you should definitely hold back your tears when talking to your employer;
- On the street with a large crowd of people. It happens that an unexpected nuisance took you by surprise. A misfortune happened, a loved one left. The natural way out in this case is sobs and bitter tears. No need to cry in the street. It will cause nenaspecial attention of strangers. Passers-by are unlikely to be able to help you. But swindlers who take advantage of a vulnerable state of a person will not pass by.
There is no doubt that there are a lot of situations in which you need to restrain yourself. You have encountered them many times. How can you hold back tears that have come at the wrong time and control your emotions?
How to learn to hold back tears: advice from psychologists
- Switching attention;
If tears are already welling up in your eyes and you need to hold them back, you can mentally ask yourself one of the following questions: Did I turn off the iron? , Did the neighbors flood me? . Psychologists call these questions adrenaline . The sudden rush of adrenaline into your bloodstream will change your emotions and you won't cry.
- Unleash your imagination;
Present your abuser as funny and ridiculous.
Or try substitution method - you are the boss, and the boss is you. How many sweet words would you say to him? Here, the main thing is not to overdo it. Loud laughter in such a situation is also inappropriate.
Physical ways not to cry
- Change the position of the body. If you are sitting, stand up, you can take a few steps, move a chair, shift papers. Act according to the situation;
- Inhale slowly and deeply, straighten your shoulders, lift your head up;
- Catch and uncouple your fingers. You can pinch your palm;
- Ask for water, take a few deep, slow sips;
- Move your gaze, look into the distance or at the painting hanging on the wall.
If you are going to burst into tears for a physical reason: your eyes are watery from fatigue, dust or mote has fallen in, allergic to strong odors, then these measures will not help you. In this situation, the best way out is to apologize and try to eliminate the cause of the tears. Take your medication, flush your eyes, and get fresh air.
To prevent negative mood after an unpleasant conversation from haunting you all day, take emergency measures:
- wash immediately with cold water;
- read to yourself , if possible, then aloud a funny children's poem;
- go to the mirror, forcefully smile at yourself, then another. This can be done until the smile becomes natural;
- Have some hot sweet tea.
If you cry very often for the slightest reason and it is very difficult for you to restrain your tears, see your doctor. You may have health problems. It can be stress, chronic fatigue, thyroid disease.
If tears appear in your eyes in a natural situation: from joy, grief, compassion, you can not restrain them. We cry because we are human and in a wayfeel strong emotions.
Always stay human - cry for your health!