5 Easy steps to Build your Self-Confidence
5 steps to build self-confidence
Self-confidence is a quality that is not born with, but acquired through purposeful efforts. If you feel that you are missing him, follow these five steps and open up a new side!
Psychology of personality lately has stepped far beyond the limits of naive advice, which now can only make the reader smile. Just being yourself or trying to give the impression of a business-savvy is by no means the most understandable recommendations that you have to puzzle over. So what is this self-confidence and how to develop it?
Step # 1: Think Strategically About Confidence
This is not some kind of muscle that you can work out on a simulator, and not even a mood to raise it so easily. Rather, such a complex is a reflection of everything that you have taken personally during your life, in which you have invested your emotions and, in the end, believed that it was true. What to do now?
First, take a look at what this complex consists of:
- all your victories and defeats, starting from early childhood;
- material status - throughout your life you have felt wealth or need;
- your academic performance and university results;
- past jobs, and most importantly - in what way do you see this experience now;
- personal life, family relationships, with the opposite sex, with friends;
- your attitude to appearance.
This is a list covering the main areas of life. Now go through it and for each item find the phrase that best describes your past experience. Write it down on paper. If you are unsure of yourself, your personal list will be filled with negativity.
Take a look at how you described your life. It is these grievances, fears, resentments and memories of the collapse of cherished plans that eventually turn into fetters that hold back your confidence and turn you into a kind of loser.
How to gain self-confidence and get rid of the chains of fear? First, take a last look at your list of failures and promise in the mirror that no matter what griefs they leave in youour heart, this will not be the reason for your future failures.
Fear of a new business, a new job or a new relationship is born from the belief in your failure, wrongness and unattractiveness . Once you realize that this fear is just the result of what you used to think of yourself, consider this the first and most significant victory over your insecurity.
Step # 2: Realize the change
The next step, how to gain self-confidence, is also psychological. Usually insecure people think they know themselves well. But the truth is that a person tends to dwell on his image from the past. Good news for you: your information about yourself is probably out of date!
Remember yourself in childhood: perhaps you were upset that you could not cook such a delicious borscht like your mother, but you knew for sure that having matured and learned how to cook, you must master this dish.
Children are wise, they know that their failure is temporary, because they will definitely change, become older, stronger, smarter, etc. Take an example from children and do not consider your insecurity as the final verdict. We never stop changing, gaining experience and growing in all spheres of life.
What paralyzes your will is nothing more than the fear of error, and not at all knowing the limits of your capabilities. Today you are not the same person as a year ago, and mistakes were made not by you today, but by you last year ...
The ability to start from scratch every day is a precious quality of successful people. From now on, you should not waste a minute of your time and not a drop of energy on the experiences of the past. This liberated energy will come in handy for the next more practical steps.
Step # 3: You must trust yourself
What do you think of yourself personally? Would you decide to marry a person like yourself? Would you travel with you if you were your friend? Would you hire yourself if you were a department head? Insecure people only shake their heads sadly at these questions. The reason is almost always one thing - they don't trust themselves.
The psychology of self-confidence is based on complete, unconditional self-confidence and belief in one's own positive qualities that help to cope with affairs. However, you are absolutely right if you believe that trust must be earned. This is what you have to do.
Submit a bank account in your name, let's call this account My reputation . Imagine also that instead of money, you regularly receive examples of your punctuality, quick wit, accuracy and responsibility.
Compliments from others and indirect signs that they trust and rely on you are also sent there:
- new service responsibilities;
- prfriends, family and friends to give advice on an issue that you know better than them;
- important assignments from bosses and senior colleagues, etc.
Save your account like you are a greedy banker! Instead of collecting episodes where you didn’t do well, focus on the positives and bring them back whenever your confidence level drops.
You know that when you are upset, only bad things come to mind, you criticize yourself, scold yourself and are ready to punish yourself over trifles. Stop doing this!
No, you do not need to give up constructive criticism, but do not paint your portrait with such dark colors! Debriefing is quite possible to devote 10-15 minutes a day, and the rest of the time, keep a good mood from the inside, not forgetting to praise and cheer yourself up and plunge into new things.
Step # 4: Act decisively
Day after day, overcome the habit of pondering every situation for a long time, and even in a pessimistic manner. This will not move you towards success, but you will miss out on many opportunities to improve your position in many areas of life.
How does self-confidence increase? Make it a rule to follow the principle of Decided - Did . Naturally, your decisions should be the best possible for each situation.
To achieve this, try hard every time:
- get all the information you need - be well aware of the problem;
- find several ways to solve it in order to be able to make a choice;
- discard the ones you don't like (difficult, long, costly ...);
- draw up a step-by-step action plan for one selected option;
- and most importantly - once you've made a decision, don't come back to this question again!
So, develop a habit: after thinking it over, start doing what you planned and stick to it until the end. Self-confident people never give up what they have started, so do the same. Any purposeful action always gives better results than endless fluctuations and change of course.
Step 5: Build your speed
The secret to building self-confidence also lies in the speed with which you are able to cope with tasks. By mastering the previous principle of irrevocable solutions , you will feel a surge of fresh energy that will be useful to you to really quickly deal with any problems. Still, now you do not need to waste your time on endless thinking about problems already in the process of solving them!
Work on your sense of urgency, build good habits:
- get down to business without delay;
- not be late for the appointed time, whether it is the beginning of the working day or the submission of the quarterly report;
- having just finished with the first item on your to-do list, go straight to the second, and so on.
It's a great idea to apply the principles of time management in life. Just please don't fuss! Getting faster doesn't mean twitching nervously every minute.
Just do things when you were tormented by thoughts of failure before, act where you used to stop from fear or a feeling of powerlessness. Give it a try and you'll be amazed at how much productive time you lost before because of insecurity.
Of course, the work on yourself does not end there. But even these few steps will give you a huge advantage.
You will become easier to relate to past failures, you can develop confidence in yourself and increase productivity. And touches such as a straight posture and a calm smile will perfectly complement your new portrait.